If you’ve ever lived or worked abroad, you’ve probably heard this advice: “Just call, it’s quicker!”
For locals, this feels simple. But for someone communicating in a second (or even third!) language, phone calls can be one of the hardest tasks. No body language, no written cues, and a cultural “script” that isn’t always clear.
I've never been a big fan of calling, but when I moved to Spain, it became even harder. Locals around me picked up the phone without hesitation: for them, calling is the fastest way to solve anything. And they are probably right!
But for me, even thinking about calling in Spanish make my brain to into overdrive: What if I don't understand? What is I sound impolite? What if I freeze when they say something unexpected?
My example wasn’t even about “serious” calls with the tax office or my accountant. Even making a hardresser appointment felt stressful. My first instinct was always: can I book online? If not, could I walk by in person? Only if I had no other choice, I called. Sweating.
Most of the time, the call itself turned out fine, but the stress leading up to it stayed. But why?
Why phone calls in a foreign language feel so stressful
1. You lose context
When you speak face-to-face, you use body language, lip movement, and facial expressions to understand each other. On the phone, all of that disappears. If you’re still building confidence, comprehension becomes much harder. And the native speaker on the other line doesn’t see your struggle, so they might have less patience or show less empathy.
2. Unclear signals and hard-to-catch words
On the phone, accents, fast speech, or background noise are extra challenging. You also miss subtle cues: Was that intonation a real question, or just emphasis? Did the pause mean they finished, or not yet? For language learners, these blurred signals create extra stress.
3. Different scripts, different rituals
Every culture has its own “phone script”. In the Netherlands, it’s common to answer with your name: “Hi, this is Fey!” In Spain, many people answer with (roughly translated) “Tell me”, which can sound rude to outsiders. If you don’t know these scripts, hesitation grows, and suddenly you feel less professional or confident than you really are.
Practical tips for phone conversations
While the challenge is real, there are ways to make calls less intimidating:
1. Prepare key phrases
Write down useful expressions for greeting, asking for clarification, or closing the call. This gives you a framework and reduces hesitation.
2. Ask for repetition and clarification
It’s normal to ask someone to repeat or slow down. Remember: even native speakers do this!
3. Practice in a safe space
Start with simple calls (a restaurant, a hairdresser) before moving on to more complex conversations, or practice with a trainer or friend in role-plays.
💡 Extra tip: record your calls (when possible) and listen back. This helps you notice progress, expand vocabulary, and grow awareness of your speaking style. Something I can help you with!
Your takeaway: it’s much more than “just a call”
If you feel anxious about phone calls in another language, you’re not alone. The stress isn’t only about words. It’s about missing non-verbal cues, unclear cultural scrips, and the pressure to sound professional.
Accept that your brain works harder, and give yourself time for that.
By combining language skills with cultural awareness, you can shift from aiming for “perfect language” to building real connection. That’s when stress starts to fade, and confidence grows.
Ready to feel confident in Dutch calls and beyond?
This is exactly what I work on in my 1:1 Advanced Dutch training. Together we focus on the language skills and intercultural awaarness you need to feel confident in any professional situation, even the tricky ones, like phone calls.
